I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
