I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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