i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
