I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
