i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
