So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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