All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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