He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
