Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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