I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
