State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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