I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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