you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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