yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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