no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
