No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
