i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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