Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
