rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
