saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
