We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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