I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
