Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
