That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
