White coat. Heels.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
