Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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