She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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