There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
