eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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