It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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