So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just cropdusted the office
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize