Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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