Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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