doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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