taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
