if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
