I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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