I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
