did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
