I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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