I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
