Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize