So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
