is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
