About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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