...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
