my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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