He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If that was your dad, he is hot
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Randomize