He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize