Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
