I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I am midnight drunk by noon
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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