Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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