Im at strip club and am horny
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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