My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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