Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
