I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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