brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
