Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
