she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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