and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
