i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
