yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
