ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
there is glitter all over my balls
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
