I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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