omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
