another moral hangover. fuck.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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